Something bright traveling fast (thunder_bat) wrote in telepylus,
Something bright traveling fast

i'm going to attempt a discussion post!

hey you guys, i am working on the following about myself:
-not over-apologizing
-not dwelling on things i can't change
-not calling helenix about every little thing that goes wrong in my day

what are you working on?
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I also need to work on not calling helenix about everything that goes wrong in my day.

♥ ~ Remembering that I am always loved unconditionally

♥ ~ The only reason people hurt is because it's been done to them.

♥ ~ I can change the cycle.
- maintaining composure in the face of another person's anger, not losing my words or giving my Truth away, while keeping an open Heart to what they are really saying.

- not forcing change, but inviting its growth. plantin seeds and tending the Garden.

- meeting people where they are instead of expecting them to be where I am (or where I think they should be), without sinking to their level if they are in a damag(ed)ing place, and without forcing myself to rise to their level if they are farther along in their Evolution.

- holding a space of Compassion and Love at all times, for my Self and for others.

- honouring the necessity of certain lessons being learned alone, and not allowing my intentions to help interfere with another's learning.

- being alone.

- being silent.

thankyou, Emese, for this brilliant idea. you are pretty much the King of Spain.
- i'm also working on giving people what they need, instead of what they want (think they need). which means, i guess, not playing into people's energy-dramas.
oh god. what am i not working on?

- remembering that i am not slave to my emotions. i will not push them away or neglect them or pretend they are not there, i will feel them, while maintaining that i am not attached to them. they are not the end of the world.

- remembering that while i am not always in control of my emotions, i am in control of how i REACT to those emotions.

- learning how to react to those emotions without the aid of pills. this is much harder tham i thought it would be.

- recognizing my defense mechanisms, my booby traps, my walls, even if they seem small, and acknowledging them, and making a mental note to work on them one by one. not FREAKING OUT about these things i consider "flaws." i'll get to them in due time, and i can only do right now what i can do right now. that does not mean i am "imperfect," nor that once i am finished deconstructing these things i WILL be "perfect."

- changing my notions of reality. what we call "perfect" is not perfect. "perfection" is an idea, a construct, a standard that serves very little purpose in my life.

- trying not to let my fear of my disease totally eat me. this is also much harder than i thought it would be.

- keeping on my shot, every night.

- supplying my body the nutrients it needs to create a healthy organism, without pills. letting my chemicals balance out.

- rather than being afraid of this depersonalization, i am exploring it. scary, but a blessing in disguise.

- remembering myself. remembering myself. remembering myself.

- remaining Aware, and Awake.

- hugging my inner children every night. recognizing my Anger and negative energy patterns and teaching my self-baby how to cope with them. starting all over again, from the very beginning.

- not resenting other people for "getting in the way" of my personal development. personal development is also an idea, a construct, and if THAT gets in the way of being a loving, shining being, then that idea is crap as well. i need to remember the essence, the TRUTH behind the words, and put it into practice, or all the work i've been doing has been in vain. reminding myself "don't just think about it, Sara, BE it."

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☼ allowing the door in the back of my head to fully open up and let in the light, in abscence of terror or fear
thanks little one.

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